Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

Conversations With Koreans: Wait, we aren’t friends?

“Thank you”, “Hello”, “Give me… please” and some other phrases and words are among a few terms that foreigners simply in Korea learn and included in this is frequently your message chingu , translated loosely as “friend”. Foreigners splice this word in their sentences that are english doubt and employ it seemingly without understanding what it really means. This is certainly probably certainly one of my least favorite terms in Korean and I’ll explain why.

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Some years back, I happened to be using Korean lessons four times per week for four hours every day. I became devouring the maximum amount of because I was dating a Korean man, most of my friends were Korean and of course I was living in Korea and I wanted to make life just a bit easier as I could of the language. Before you take the classes, I was hesitant and weary of the thing I regarded as forced respect inside the rules of this language, components of the language that force us to show a respect that we might not need for some body. Simply because individuals are older doesn’t suggest they always deserve respect as well as that point I’d held it’s place in enough circumstances to understand that a number of, often, men just assumed that i ought to be respectful of those and even though they disrespected me in various ways. Through the classes, I learned how exactly to show my disapproval when being disrespected without being downright rude and I also discovered just how to be much more assertive in Korean. One of the greatest classes I discovered, however, ended up being that I have almost no “friends” in Korea. (From here on out “friend” in parenthesis would be the Korean kind of friend while a freestanding buddy will function as the English version.)

My better half, boyfriend at that time, and I also chose to have a meet up at our house and invited our close friends that are korean. There were about 10 of us across the table and I also ended up being the foreigner that is only the area. As of this point, I’d known my boyfriend and all sorts of of his buddies for an excellent four to five years plus in my indigenous tongue, we would phone them my buddies. Following the food ended up being finished while the plates acquired, a game was thought by me could be fun. Taking what I’d discovered from course on the best way to phone some body by title, we said, “So-yung-a, do you wish to play a game title?” with the reduced type of the language. I had been gaining confidence with the language and deploying it whenever i possibly could. There clearly was a gasp that is audible after a couple of seconds of silence, So-yung said, “yes,” but two for the more aggressively conservative people in the group explained i really couldn’t say “So-yung-a” to So-yung.

Friend 1: So-yung is more than you may be.

Friend 2: You can’t say “So-yung-a” because you’re younger than she actually is.

Me personally: We’re friends though.

Friend 1: No, you’re not friends with So-yung.

Me: What can you mean? I’ve known her for a long time. I have her telephone number during my phone. I see her a great deal. Our company is buddies and my book says this is certainly an ending that is appropriate a buddy.

Buddy 2: No, you can’t be friends than you are because she is older.

Me personally: I don’t determine what you’re saying.

Friend 1: you are able to simply be friends with someone that’s the same age as yourself.

Me personally: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. You might be all my buddies and you are clearly https://hookupdate.net/upforit-review/ all over the age of i will be.

Buddy 1: We aren’t your pals.

After that I went along to my room for just a little cry mostly because I became simply told I experienced no buddies as well as due to the fact language these people were utilizing to state their standpoint had been extremely aggressive and I don’t handle aggressive situations perfectly. Originating from a training standpoint, aggressively attacking a student for making use of a term or a phrase inappropriately hardly ever helps make the pupil respond in a good means. Frequently, the learning pupil will end up more timid to utilize the language or you will need to use words later on unless they’re completely clear on their meaning. In addition reminded my “friends” later that I don’t attack them if they misuse a word, if it is exceptionally rude, We remind myself so it’s not their very first language and I also make an effort to help them realize why it may be taken the wrong manner. My “friends” however, are not therefore patient with my language purchase. Though I experienced excitingly go through my lesson publications and went through talks within my class, I experienced taken some things and terms when you look at the book for awarded maybe not realizing they didn’t suggest just what it showed up they suggested. Two associated with more tolerant users of our team arrived in to sooth me and explain in nicer terms what everyone had gotten so upset about.

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